@ALBUM: The Presidents of The United States of America
by The Presidents of The United States of America

In a few places, questionable lyrics are indicated as such:
This is a line with [questionable lyrics](?) in a song

@SONG: Kitty
Little bag of bones been out all night
Little bag of bones been out all night
Can you hear him
Scratchin at the screen door
Can you hear him
Scratchin at the screen door
Little bag of bones been out all night

He needs some pettin and lovin on his head
He needs some pettin and lovin on his rain soaked hide
He's circlin round my ankle
He's circlin round my ankle
He needs some pettin and lovin on his hide hey kitty won'tcha come inside

Kitty at my foot and I want to touch it  (8x)

Pussy purrin and lookin so satisfied
Pussy purrin and lookin so satisfied
Lost in his little yellow round eye
Lost in his little yellow round eye
Pussy purrin and lookin so satisfied

Kitty rear up and scratch me through my jeans
Kitty rear up and scratch me through my jeans
Fuck you kitty you're gonna spend the night
Fuck you kitty you're gonna spend the night
Fuck you kitty you're gonna spend the night
OUT SIDE

Kitty at my foot and I want to touch it  (8x)

Touch it 
Want to touch it (7x)

Kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty touch it
Kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty touch it
Kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty touch it
Kitty at my foot and I want to touch it

@SONG: Feather Pluckn
billions of birdies walking down now
talking in code to planes in the clouds
Saying a secret message, they send it by worm
So vibrating spiders will receive the word
But that's totally feather pluckin insane

10 million monkeys [holding up](?) guitars
Nobody taught them how
5 thousand fishes rocking really really really hard
Nobody taught them how
Check out chickie driving piggy's little blue car
Nobody taught him how

Flies like to fly cause they don't like to stay
They're buzzing in the ears of the chicken all day
Chicken understand and he peck out the code
Send a subsonic signal through the snot
In the middle of an elephant's long wet cold gray nose
But that's totally feather pluckin insane

10 million monkeys [holding up](?) guitars
Nobody taught them how
5 thousand froggies rocking really really really hard
Nobody taught them how
Check out chickie driving piggy's little blue car
Nobody taught him how

Everybody supernova
Everybody supernova
Everybody supernova
Everybody supernova

@SONG: Lump
Lump sat alone in a boggy marsh
Totally motionless except for her heart
Mud flowed up into lumps pajamas
She totally confused all the passing piranhas

She's lump, she's lump, she's lump
She's in my head
She's lump, she's lump, she's lump
She might be dead

Lump lingered last in line for brains
And the one she got was sorta rotten and insane
Small thing so sad that birds could land
Is lump fast asleep or rocking out with the band?

She's lump, she's lump, she's lump
She's in my head
She's lump, she's lump, she's lump
She might be dead

Lump was limp and lonely and needed a shove
Lump slipped on a kiss and tumbled into love
She spent her twenties between the sheets
And life limped along at subsonic speeds

She's lump, she's lump, she's lump
She's in my head
She's lump, she's lump, she's lump
She might be dead

Is this lump out of my head?
I think so
Is this lump out of my head?
I think so
Is this lump out of my head?
I think so
Is this lump out of my head?

@SONG: Stranger
You lynyrd skynyrd hat and me little kitty
sat across with the velvet jacket
wild orange hair and dark dark eyes
I talked like a 12 year old smidgeon
carla the stripper straight from LA
you seem cool for a naked chick in a booth
let's be pals someday
in other words, put some clothes on and call me

I saw you
It was incredible

Slim relaxed fine wine at the QFC
on a snowy saturday night
black pearls and I swear you drank a beer
you the redhead behind the counter there
I'm the one who fell out of his chair there
You had your drycleaning and I think you're dreaming

I saw you
It was incredible
Mumbled these words at you
unintelligible

muh muh muh ma, etc

hey, uh, eh, what time is it?

@SONG: Boll Weevil
Let me tell you about a friend of mine
His name's Boll Weevil check him out
He spends all day on his big butt
And he don't never ever get outside
I come to visit
I bring some sunshine
And I just spread it all over the fire
He's stuck on his big couch
Stuck in his big shell
he looks at the TV and he's all right
I come from the drug [lo'](?) the local drug store
bug is a fly, baby, he's never on time

And I wonder
Boll Weevil why don't cha get out of your home?
and he said I'm cozy here I don't want to move I don't want to leave
I said, Boll Weevil get right out of your home
Goodbye I gotta stay up with you some other day bye bye gotta go to sleep
And let the tube shine
Let the tube shine
Let the tube shine
Let the tube shine

Now, I'd tell you about Boll Weevil, but that bug is just too scary
he's in there all alone
I tried to coach him out
With mickey mouse(?) chocolate pies
but he would not move a muscle when I tried
To make him see that the sun is shining outside (repeat)

Boll Weevil get right out of your home
Boll Weevil get right out of your home
Boll Weevil get right out of your home
Boll Weevil get right out of your home

Now, I would tell you about Boll Weevil but that bug is just too scary
he's sittinin there all alone
I tried to coach him out
With mickey mouse(?) chocolate pies
but he would not move a muscle when I tried
To make him see that the sun is shining outside
To make him see that the sun is shining out
To make him see that the sun is shining outside
  ...

Make him see the sun
Make him see the sun
Make him see the goddamn sun

[(Come on, little buggy, who's the little bug?)](?)

@SONG: Peaches
Moving to the country I'm gonna eat a lot of peaches
I'm Moving to the country I'm gonna eat me a lot of peaches
I'm Moving to the country I'm gonna eat a lot of peaches
I'm Moving to the country I'm gonna eat a lot of peaches

Peaches come from a can
They were put there by a man
In a factory downtown

And if I had my little way
I'd eat peaches everyday
Sun-soaked in bulges in the shade

Moving to the country I'm gonna eat a lot of peaches
I'm Moving to the country, I'm gonna eat a lot of peaches
I'm Moving to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches
Moving to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches

I took a little nap with a ??? twist
Squished a rotten peach in my fist
And dreamed about you, woman
I poked my finger down inside
Make a little room for a hand to hide
Nature's candy in my hand or can or pie

Millions of peaches peaches for me
Millions of peaches peaches for free
Millions of peaches peaches for me
Millions of peaches peaches for free
(Lookout!)

Millions of peaches peaches for me
Millions of peaches peaches for free
Millions of peaches peaches for me
Millions of peaches peaches for free
(Lookout!)

@SONG: Dune Buggy
Little blind spider took the wheel
navigating grass blades completely by feel
got a
sassy chassis sparkle in the sun
all four small bald fat tires
rocking through the sand and burning up

little dune buggy in the sand
little blue dune buggy in my hand

I got a
Rubber band motor hummin on the beach ready for fun
Quit spinning that web and come out and play in the sun
Eight thimble size cylinders could be as smooth as you please
The spider's bad ass fat old abdomen stuck in the bucket seat

Little dune buggy in the sand
Little blue dune buggy in my hand

Squishy transmission was caught in drive
Spider man was squinting at the sand and the sky
Spider woman in the front seat screamin go go go
He's riding the accelerator down to the floor with his fuzzy little toe

Little dune buggy in the sand
Little blue dune buggy in my hand

Little blue dune buggy (8x)

Little
Blue
Dune buggy

@SONG: We Are Not Going to Make It
We're not gonna make it, no no
We're not gonna make it
Cause there's a million better bands
With a million better songs
Singers who can drum
Singers who can sing

Deep in my heart
I do believe

We're not gonna make it, no no
We're not gonna make it
Cause we don't have the talent
We don't have the time
We don't have the patience
And we don't know how to rhyme

Deep in my heart
I do believe

We're not gonna make it, no no
We're not gonna make it
I said no no no no
no no no no, etc

We're not gonna make it

@SONG: Kick Out The Jams
Well, I been elected to rock your asses to midnight
Well, this is my turn and I [jammed up my perm](?) but it's alright
I solemnly swear to uphold the constitution
Got a rock n roll problem, well we got a solution
So let me be who I am
And let me kick out the jams, yeah
Let me kick out the jams
I done kicked em out

Well, I been selected to orbit the planet in a rocket (in a rocket)
I'm going to Mars I got a message for the poodle in your pocket (in your pocket)
Well, Mission Control, calling supernova
The hotline's rocking you can come on over
And let us be who we am
And let us kick out the jams, yeah
Kick out the jams
We done kicked em out

@SONG: Body
Little salamander
Where did you go?
Edge of the yard
I found you, you know
All brown and hard

I can't get your body out of my mind
I can't get your body
I can't get your body out of my mind
I can't get your body

She goes smooth through my body, yeah
Through my body she goes smooth
She goes smooth through my body, yeah
Through my body she goes smooth

Little killer froggy
Where did you hop?
Under the entertainment center
Realize you just couldn't stop
The worms found a hole in your booty they could enter

I can't get your body out of my mind
I can't get your body
I can't get your body out of my mind
I can't get your body

You go smooth through my body, yeah
Through my body you go smooth
You go smooth through my body, yeah
Through my body you go smooth

Hey little lizard
Where did you slink
Left your cage door open
Under the basement sink
Dripping water made your molded body eyes open, and

I can't get your body out of my mind
I can't get your body
I can't get your body out of my mind
I can't get your body

I can't get your body out of my mind
I can't get your body
I can't get your body out of my mind
I can't get your body

@SONG: Back Porch
Happy with no teeth
Happy here in hibernation
Slurpin on a peach
Staring at the situation
Kitty at my foot
Meowin out a conversation
Rocking back and forth
That's my only destination

Old man on the back porch
Old man on the back porch
Old man on the back porch
And that old man is me
Old man on the back porch
Old man on the back porch
Old man on the back porch
And that

Got a
Two string on my lap
Total subsonic vacation
Got a chicken on the drums
Pounding out a perfect prescription
Got twenty little worms
All plugged into amplification
Got fifteen hundred bass-drum-luggin bug-eyed monkeys
All arrivin at the station

Old man on the back porch
Old man on the back porch
Old man on the back porch
And that old man is me
Old man on the back porch
Old man on the back porch
Old man on the back porch
And that

I'm sitting on the back porch kicking my legs back
rocking in my rocking chair and sitting there
ornery little back porch is just about to fall apart, so
I think I might repair it
Just as I'm thinkin about repairin it some little friends come along
with some two string, one string, no string guitars
and they plug em all in to the back porch
and they sit around playing all their favorite songs
they kicking back, feeling real good, real fine, real full of the wine
and everything's fine, everything's beautiful, everything's great
I just feel so good, you know I'm 70 years old and I'm slurpin
everything through a straw, but I'm the

Old man on the back porch
Old man on the back porch
Old man on the back porch
And that old man is me
Old man on the back porch
Old man on the back porch
Old man on the back porch
And that

@SONG: Candy
Sugar's only sweetness
Salt is ocean tears
And you were my only weakness
For years and years and years
You little yellow sweetie
You were hiding in a jar
Now my mind is gone completely
Take off the lid and there you are
You're my candy
Candy

Well the devil she made sweet candy
Took six days and night to dream
On the seventh day sshe rested
Woke up early and made ice cream

Now the devil she must be a dentist
With deep jawbreaker eyes
Red rope hair
Gumdrop lips
And cotton candy thighs

You're my candy
Candy

[Chocolava](?) stole my body
And aftertaste stole my mind
Left me dangling and defenseless
And then sweet candy she said goodbye
Now my teeth are worn and useless
My eyes too sunk to see
My tongue swole up to twice its size
And all I want to do is eat

Candy
My candy
My candy
My candy
Suckin on candy


@SONG: Naked and Famous
I can't explain glacial motion
Or why Los Angeles don't drop into the ocean
I can't unfold the layers of mystery
Or piece together the tragedy of history

Cause
Those lucky suckers
They don't have to work
Make 3-D billboards and big
Thirty foot [smurfs](?)

And everybody wants to be naked and famous
Everybody wants to be just like me I'm naked
And famous

I met a poet said she didn't like the smell of it
And then took her clothes off in a restaurant for the hell of it
I met a DJ who lived in seclusion
Reality and sobriety were her only delusions, and

Those lucky bastards
They didn't have to work
Make 3-D billboards and big
Thirty foot [smurfs](?)

Everybody wants to be naked and famous
Everybody wants to be just like me I'm naked
And famous

Don't get a nosebleed
Don't get upset
We can't be naked and famous just yet
There's a big ol dollar sign on the sunset strip
And you can send your friend a postcard, it ain't worth the trip

Everybody wants to be naked and famous
Everybody wants to be just like me I'm naked
Everybody wants to be naked and famous
Everybody wants to be just like me I'm naked
Everybody wants to be naked and famous
Everybody wants to be just like me I'm naked

Everybody wants to be naked and famous
Everybody wants to be just like me I'm naked
And famous
